Formula Oppo: The Vacron Grand Prix of Putin's Playhouse Updatex2

"Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire" (arch-duke-maxyenko) 10/10/2014 at 08:47 • Filed to: fo

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This is the 16th round of !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , and this is a race that should not take place. But alas, here we are at Putin's Playhouse.

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Previously on !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , Typhoon Phanphone soaked the race. The racing organizers fucked up big time and should have held the race earlier in the day, but they didn't and the race ended up being called early after Jules Bianchi suffered a serious crash into the crane, which was removing Sutil's stranded Sauber. As of writing this, Jules is still in the ICU recovering from surgery. Lewis Hamilton passed Nico Rosberg for the win and Vettel got a very confusing third.

In Putin's Playhouse, the super secret word of the day is..."Fuck." Fuck this race and fuck Bernie's money. Fuck Vladimir Putin with big rusty pole. Fuck his war on Ukraine. Fuck Hermann Tilke and his boring ass tracks. Fuck L Ron Hubbard and fuck all his clones. Fuck all these gun-toting hip gangster wannabes. Fuck retro anything. Fuck your tattoos. Fuck all you junkies and fuck your short memory. Fuck smiley glad-hands with hidden agendas. Fuck these dysfunctional, insecure actresses.

The drivers who should all protest this race:

Sebastian Vettel- Red Bull

Daniel Ricciardo- Red Bull

Max Chilton Alexander Rossi- Marussia

(Jules Bianchi (get well soon)) Alexander Rossi- Marussia

Nico Rosberg- Mercedes

Lewis Hamilton- Mercedes

Kimi Räikkönen- Ferrari

Fernando Alonso- Ferrari

Romain Grosjean- Lotus

Pastor Maldonado- Lotus

(Marcus Ericsson- Caterham)?

(Kamui Kobayashi or Andre Lotterer Mystery Guest - Caterham)?

Sergio Perez- Force India

Nico Hulkenberg- Force India

Felipe Massa- Williams

Valtteri Bottas- Williams

Kevin Magnussen- McLaren

Jenson Button- McLaren

Esteban Gutierrez- Sauber

Adrian Sutil- Sauber

Jean-Eric Vergne- Toro Rosso

Daniil Kvyat- Toro Rosso

My picks:

1. Lewis Hamilton

2. Nico Rosberg

3. Sebastian Vettel

Q. Lewis Hamilton

Curse: No curse of the Russian winter.

The rest of you have until the race gets cancelled or Q1 (Saturday 11, 7:00 am EST) to get your picks in or it's off to the gulags. Note, if this race were to be cancelled, no points will be awarded to anyone, but we will all be winners.

PushToStart > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/05/2014 at 22:11

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I'd venture to guess that Rossi will be taking Bianchi's place, because he is the team's 3rd driver, correct?

Agrajag > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/05/2014 at 22:16

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1. Lewis Hamilton

2. Bottas

3. Rosberg

Q. Hamilton

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > PushToStart 10/05/2014 at 22:18

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He's listed as a test driver, but who knows who they'll put in that seat.

RTeeJay > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/05/2014 at 22:54

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1. Hamilton

2. Rosberg

3. Ricciardo

Q. Hamilton

ncasolowork2 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/06/2014 at 08:38

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This is not the way I want to see an American in F1. Rossi is the most likely candidate to fill in for Bianchi.

Q: Lewis

1: Lewis

2: Nico

3: Alonso

Curse: Rossi

ncasolowork2 > PushToStart 10/06/2014 at 08:40

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I'm not sure if he'll race in Russia. I think there's a good chance. If he doesn't race in Russia I think there's an extremely high probability that he does race in Austin.

ncasolowork2 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/06/2014 at 08:44

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Since we can only curse drivers I chose Rossi. I would consider him not racing this week a successful curse. Anyhow I'd like to curse the race. The track looks like garbage. I think this will be as bad as Monaco. You might get some passing into turn 2 purely aided by the DRS and length of the straight. Depends on if that kink is gentle enough to allow cars to run wide open with the DRS open.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > ncasolowork2 10/06/2014 at 09:29

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We all agree that this race should be cancelled

Brian Silvestro > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/06/2014 at 10:25

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I knew you wouldn't disappoint with the lead picture for this race.

1. Hamilton

2. Rosberg

3. Vettel

Q. Hamilton

RX > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/06/2014 at 10:53

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Are you saying Sochi is going to fall into the Black Sea? Better learn to swim.

GhostZ > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/06/2014 at 10:54

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Something something about germans invading russia during the winter.

Fred (FreddsterExprs) > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/06/2014 at 11:05

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Okay, difficult one. Red Bull wasn't on pace in the dry in Suzuka, and it's a new (possibly boring) Tilke track.

1. Lewis Hamilton

2. Nico Rosberg

3. Valteri Bottas

Q: Rosberg

Bandit > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/07/2014 at 13:41

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1 Ham

2 Ros

3 Ric

Q Ham

Bandit > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/07/2014 at 13:41

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Best header yet btw

Haimatox > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/07/2014 at 13:43

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1. Ham

2. Ros

3. Ric

Q. Ham

Corz > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/07/2014 at 13:47

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Are we sure Marussia will be able to field 2 cars? With the import/export of Russia lately, I don't know if that'll happen

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Corz 10/07/2014 at 13:51

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They are partially Russian owned.

Corz > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/07/2014 at 13:54

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Now with link... Still won't make things easier with customs if you have to bring a whole new car from England.

Don't know if that will work, as Reddit is blocked at the office, but thats where I read it

ly2v8-Brian > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/07/2014 at 14:08

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Is it even worth caring? It's always the same fukin drivers in the top 5. I will say I get a good laugh out of the way big baby Hamilton behaves when he finishes second.

hike > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/07/2014 at 14:15

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1. Rosberg

2. Hamilton

3. Bottas

Q. Rosberg

Lachlan - #ForzaJules > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/08/2014 at 13:07

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1. Hamilton

2. Rosberg

3. Bottas

Q. Rosberg

Tim (Fractal Footwork) > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/08/2014 at 19:50

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1. Lewis Hamilton

2. Nico Rosberg

3. Daniel Ricciardo

Q. Vladamir Putin, no wait that will be too obvious... Daniil Kvyat

kinjasignedmeout > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/08/2014 at 20:23

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1. Sebastian Vettel

2. Fernando Alonso

3. Daniel Ricciardo

Q. Lewis Hamilton

I'm not putting either Mercedes on the podium because I feel like it will go against the results I want, which has happened the last 3 races

Gated Manual > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/08/2014 at 21:37

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1. HAM

2. ROS

3. RIC

Q. HAM

Slave2anMG > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/10/2014 at 08:59

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But he's so cuddly!

PushToStart > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/10/2014 at 10:12

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Q. HAM

1. HAM

2. ROS

3. ALO

KnowsAboutCars > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/10/2014 at 11:47

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1. Putin

2. DNF

3. DNF

Q. Putin

Curse: Every driver retires the race before it has even begun because they acknowledge the superior racing skills of Putin (and the possibility to end up in Siberia).

Following picks are to be used if Putin decides not to race:

1. Hamilton

2. Rosberg

3. Bottas

Q. Hamilton

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/10/2014 at 12:23

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1. HAM

2. ROS

3. ALO

Q. HAM

No curse.

JEM > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/10/2014 at 14:27

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1: Rosberg

2: Hamilton

3: Button

Q: Rosberg

For Sweden > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/10/2014 at 18:41

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1. Hamilton

2. Rosberg

3. Vettel (No pressure anymore!)

Q. Hamilton

DoomBuggie > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/11/2014 at 03:48

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Absolutely agree that this race shouldn't be held and that ALL of the drivers and teams should sit out in protest. I love Bernie's response of "We don't do politics." Says the man who just paid off a German court. In the memory of every single person aboard flight MH17 I'm sitting out this round. See ya down in Arizona Bay.

1. Do

2. Svidanya

3. Mother

Q. Fucker

#forzajules

DoomBuggie > Slave2anMG 10/11/2014 at 03:53

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Now all I can think of is this:

pirates-ecu > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/11/2014 at 04:41

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1. hamilton
2. rosberg
3. Bottas

q. hamilton

EL_ULY > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/11/2014 at 11:34

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Q Ham

1. HAM

2. ROS

3. BOT.

Dang dude I was waiting for that last friday repost and I juuust woke up :'( Spare me my life I am in 4th please!!!! I'll do anything Arch pleeeaase!!!! I haven't seen the qualifying I promise. Dude please !

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > EL_ULY 10/11/2014 at 12:01

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You will get nothing for Qualifying

EL_ULY > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/11/2014 at 12:06

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*bows head* gracias

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > ncasolowork2 10/12/2014 at 10:09

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You'll get the points for Rossi

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > pirates-ecu 10/12/2014 at 10:17

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